did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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