Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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