Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
