remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
