it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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