HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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