there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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