oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
