Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
