need another drink. this is the easiest way
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
