i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
