He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
