i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
