the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
