2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
