oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
