its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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