people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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