Will you blow on my dice?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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