Got a toothbrush?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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