i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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