He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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