and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Shame - the story of my life.
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