college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
