good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My pussy is not your playground.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
