nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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