What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
