I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
