My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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