ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
