Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
