there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
