the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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