im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
