yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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