Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
