I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
