At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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