fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
