i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
