omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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