I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
