What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
