drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
