I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
