Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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