Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
