he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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