is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
