I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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