it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the day after is always just damage control
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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